Happy Hump Dayyyyy! Wednesday for people who don’t know…but hard to imagine anyone doesn’t haha.

so back to my surgery story! I figured I would ask my mom and my husband to write a little about what that day was like for them!

First up, my mother, Patricia:

It’s hard for me to put into words my emotions the day of Ashley’s surgery. Trying to sleep the night before was impossible, my baby is having her brain cut !! Until this night I think I had tucked that reality away. I chose to focus on how to help my daughter by taking care of her children and home . This was my way of avoiding the terror and heartache I had inside. Ashley was so brave and strong so we all had to be too!!

We ( Dave, Ryan, Kelly and myself )got into the car that morning to head to the city, not much talking was happening. What sticks in my head is that when we finally got to go back by them, she was so calm and had that sweet smile I have been blessed to see for so many years.

Ashley & Arthur had such strength that day at that moment.

We decided to go get food in us while she was taken back and the process of putting her under was happening. We could then be back at the waiting area before they started. So many many hours of waiting was ahead . We all spread out but would check in with each other. Dave did lots of walking, I was unusually still and didn’t want to talk much. I was receiving lots of texts of people praying for my girl. My mind was still but racing if that makes sense. I felt as though I was holding my breath!! You could see the strain in all our faces. I was thinking one thought on repeat since her surgery was scheduled…” please don’t take another child from us !” Please don’t take Ashley from her brother, husband, children , family and best friend!! The surgery took longer than they told us so now I am in a panic! It was so very late at this point so Dave said to me “ we have to go get some sleep “ Mary ( Arthur’s mom ) had to go back to work the next morning which meant I needed to be there for the kids by 8 ish that morning. I had to try to sleep but all I wanted was to see my baby!! Ryan told me he would text me updates as he was staying with Arthur . I told myself that Ashley needed me to make things go smoothly for her babies so I had to suck it up and leave. I have never wanted to be in two places at once so bad in my life!! What a strong and beautiful soul My daughter is…. she went through so very much that day and a long road was waiting for her

Second, my hubby, Arthur:

The day of the surgery was a long grueling day. We had to get over to the hospital first thing in the morning, yet she wouldn’t be having surgery until 3pm. For me, it was probably the longest day of my life. The waiting was a killer but I at least had family there to keep me company. I used work to try to distract me when she finally went back for surgery. The surgery itself was faster then I expected. She was done in about three hours. Dr Chandler came out in his scrubs to update us and ensured us everything went as planned. By this time it was around 6pm… but it wouldn’t be until after midnight when her brother Ryan and I finally got to see her. She took a long time to come out of anesthesia, and that wait was miserable. Stuck in a waiting room with a lot of other family’s waiting to hear about their loved one. The phone who’d ring, and someone would answer but it was always an update about someone else. Eventually her parents had to leave as it was getting so late. Ryan and I ended up being the only ones left for some time. When we finally got the call to go to her room, of course we went to the wrong one, in the other building. So we had to walk all the way to the other side up some elevators. When I finally got to see her it really set in for me just how crazy the surgery was. Before it never fully felt real. But seeing her all bandages up, a tube of brain fluid leaking out the side of her head into a bladder, the realness hit in full force. She was still out cold. Ryan and I sat and stared at her for awhile before realizing she wasn’t waking up anytime soon, so we walked across the street to the hotel and passed out. Longest day of my life. Easily the scariest

It is so interesting for me to hear how that day was for them. Everyone is so focused on the patient that the family can have a hard time dealing with what they were going through because they want to be strong for the patient. Also, to clarify my surgery was done by 6pm it took three hours, my mom didn’t realize I was done at six. They were just waiting for anesthesia to wear off. It took a long time! It really helped having my family around me and of course my best friend, Kelly, to help me feel strong going into surgery.

So I barely remember much of the next two ish days.

I remember just being really tired and my family trying to make me drink water and eat food. I slept so much especially the first two days. I didn’t realize I had a tube coming out of my head to help drain the fluids. Probably for the best, because I probably would’ve been scared.

Then Friday they whisked me back to surgery again, I was so out of it I didn’t know really what was going on. My husband didn’t even know where they were taking me. He had to run around trying to find out where I was. I remember laying in the room before surgery and arthur came in and gave me a kiss. The surgery was to seal up the cut they made in my ear canal to help with drainage. I don’t remember much after that. Next thing I knew I was back in my hospital room.

So with brain surgery, the swelling gets pulled down by gravity.

I barely talked much while recovering in the hospital. I wouldn’t get released until Monday. I had a speech evaluation because I was barely talking at all. If i did it was a “yes” or “no”. A lot of the time, I would just give a thumbs up. I remember her asking me to name farm animals, and having trouble getting to five.

I didn’t understand how bad it looked at the time, like I said it was like I was in a dream. I just was so tired, and so out of it.

I remember family coming to visit me in the hospital, specifically my Uncle John and my Aunt Yvette. I remember a friend coming to see me who lived downtown. I was so happy to feel supported. I remember missing my kids so much, but being so tired that I couldn’t cry. I felt so happy that I would get to see them again, but missed them so much it hurt.

There was a Cubs game on, and I am a huge baseball fan. My mom said I was so “blank” that she was worried my personality or abilities were gone. I can’t remember the exact play but something good happened for the cubs, and I didn’t cheer, but I raised my fist in the air excitedly. This moment gave my parents and hubby hope that I was myself in there still.

I wish I could tell you how I felt in the hospital more, but after brain surgery your brain is operating so slowly and memory is foggy. I knew I was going to be okay.

My favorite memory is walking around with my IV and holding onto arthurs arm. They wanted me to work up to three laps around the floor.

Also, when I was discharged from the hospital, my hubby and I couldn’t find our car in the parking garage and we walked around so much before we could find the car. haha i remember thinking “oh no, this is not happening” thankfully we found our car just fine haha.

 

until next time,

ashley